"Dad, come quick!" was the cry that followed a piercing scream. Instantly, my pulse quickened and adrenaline surged. As I sprang from my chair and ran up the stairs, my mind was consumed by terrible thoughts.

The cause of the ruckus was a harmless spider so small, it was almost cute. To my daughter, Megan, however, it may as well have been a six-foot man-eating tarantula from an old sci-fi movie. It certainly induced a scream worthy of one of those films. It took maybe 10 seconds to squash the little bugger and flush it into the hereafter. What was a crisis to Megan was no more than an annoyance to me.

One definition of crisis is "dramatic upheaval." Even that definition has some subjectivity to it. Few would argue that the freeze in the credit markets in 2008 was not a crisis. Yet today, we seem to have a "crisis" somewhere in some way all the time. Maybe it's because we are surrounded by 24-hour media outlets that try desperately to capture our attention. But the outcry is counterproductive.

WHEN TO REACT

Recently, at our firm, we have had some great conversations about defining what events are critical enough to warrant special communication. Part of our dilemma is self-induced. A fair amount of the value we bring to families is rooted in delegation: Clients hire us in no small part to take care of details on their behalf, thus freeing up their time and, at least as important, their energy for other matters. I lost count a long time ago of the number of times a client has said something like, "I don't worry about that-that's why we have you." Any communication that is out of the ordinary can set off a client's internal alarms much like Megan's scream jolted me out my daydream.

On the other hand, if a situation is important enough, remaining silent leaves people to wonder. And when we are left to wonder, we create stories in our minds about what is "really" going on. These stories are rarely correct. We all do this. Think about all the times a friend did not return your phone call promptly. Chances are good you concocted a story in your mind about why that was the case-and the actual reason was completely different.

Sometimes it is pretty easy to see that special communication is needed. Normally, we put out eight regularly scheduled written communiqués to clients; four newsletters that accompany our reports and four commentaries in between. As with many firms, however, the frightening economic events in 2008 and early 2009 prompted us to send several extra crisis-related communications.

The dramatic upheaval at the time made it clear that it would be helpful if we stepped up our letters, phone calls and meetings. Prior to 2008, clients never worried about the solvency of their banks, the security of their money market funds or the TED spread. Even people who usually ignore business news had tuned into the crisis and were struggling to make heads or tails out of the terminology. We produced nine special messages but returned to our normal schedule shortly before the end of the 2008-2009 school year.

Many colleagues around the country have lamented to me that they have not weaned their clients off the frequent communications. They believe recent events are more troublesome to their clients because the clients have been so tuned into the news for so long.

WHEN TO REACT

Fast-forward to the end of April 2010. The headlines were Standard & Poor's downgrade of Greek & Spanish debt, with Greece going to "junk" status. Speculation flew about whether Greece would get the money to make payments later in May. Then on May 6-flash crash!

"What is going on with the market? It is down 500 points," one of my colleagues asked rather calmly. His question didn't have the same effect as the scream but, given where the market had been not that long ago, I had to look for myself. Down 800 points-and I felt that instant adrenaline surge, just as strongly as if I were sprinting up the stairs. "Oh man, not again," I thought. The equally dramatic rebound made me doubt the market monster had returned, but I didn't think it was a quick squash-and-flush situation, either.

Despite the unusual market activity, this time we did not rush to put out a comment to clients. Why? First, news travels fast once it breaks. Mainstream media would already be rushing to investigate and explain the events. Clients have told us many times they don't need us to add to the deluge of information and opinion. What they need and most appreciate is perspective and a viewpoint on what events mean to their family's finances.