It seemed as if John Thiel just could not land this one client. An officer of a firm about to go public, the potential client wouldn't even consider meetings with Merrill Lynch Private Banking and Investment Groups, despite numerous overtures. Then Thiel and his team discovered the prospect had concerns about how his new wealth would affect his two adult daughters. Solution? The team invited the two women-without Dad-to a financial boot camp that the firm began offering several years before.

"They were so ecstatic, and he was so impressed by how their attitudes had changed, that he created a meaningful relationship with us," says Thiel, the co-head of Private Wealth Management for Bank of America and head of Merrill Lynch Private Banking and Investment Group. "He was unable to get to them, but we could. And in a situation like that you're forever grateful."

To Thiel, that client was not coming through the door from a basic, traditional referral. Instead, his daughters laid the path in a whole new way. In fact, most firms would agree that viewing basic client referrals as an end game is an outmoded way to drive business growth.

The problem is that clients just don't need financial advisors in the same way these days. In a matter of minutes, investors can invest in index funds, or get stock quotes with a simple click of the mouse.

They can source financial research and find the news that's swaying the market. Anyone clever enough to make a lot of money can often manage that money on his own if he or she chooses to. So today, it's incumbent on financial advisors to show investors why they're needed. And a nod from a favorite uncle isn't going to be enough anymore to bring that $10 million client in to sign.

"Twenty years ago a client was happy to find out the price of a stock, because they couldn't get that," Thiel says. "Now they know everything that's going on, and there's a ubiquity of information. Now, what they use us for has changed."

And how they choose a firm has changed as well. True, happy clients will recommend their financial advisors to colleagues, friends and family. But instead of trying to acquire referrals as commodities, successful companies now convey why they're the right partner for that client's entire life, not just his assets.

Marilyn Plum recalls a client that came into her Lafayette, Calif. firm, Ballou Plum Wealth Advisors, who had a secure corporate position, but wanted to move to a non-profit. She asked Plum and her partner Lynn Ballou to run through the numbers to see if she could actually handle this career transition since she would be losing a high salary.

"We found she could afford to take the leap," Plum says. "And from that, she referred another family member to us."

Sometimes, however, financial advisors will turn to non-financial services to help current clients and attract new ones as well. These concierge-like perks, growing very popular in the industry, may not be right for every investor. Indeed, they wouldn't be cost-effective if offered to every investor. But for certain customers, and smaller firms, they can help set apart one financial advisor from another. Plus, these white-glove, exclusive services can appear attractive to new prospects.

Doug Lockwood's firm Harbor Lights Financial Group in Manasquan, N.J. ran a survey among his clients a few years back. But instead of asking them about the things they liked about their advisors, he asked about favorite sports teams, wines, and what stressed them the most. Their top answer to what created anxiety in their lives? Buying a car.

So Lockwood and his team hit every car dealer in Monmouth, N.J., found the ones that would treat their clients with white gloves and began doing the negotiating for them. And restaurants with impossible-to-book tables? No problem for Lockwood's clients. He called them as well. And after 12 months, the firm saw a 100% growth in assets under management, including one investor who had just inherited a $7.8 million estate from his mother. That client came in after the firm helped lease a car for a close friend, Lockwood says.

"We found we could be doing things for our clients that were not necessarily about creating a financial plan," says Lockwood, whose firm is affiliated with LPL Financial.

"This might not necessarily be financial planning driven but this is the stuff talked about at the dinner table," Lockwood says. "Not whose mutual fund is doing better. I can't imagine running a financial planning firm today without a service like this. If we all charge the same, what differentiates us?"