A group of family business owners wondered aloud recently how they would groom younger family members to succeed them? Issues for them to mull include whether anyone is specifically assigned to figuring out roles for younger family members in the business, and getting good advice on the emotional issues involving succession. Some wealth advisors build this kind of succession-planning strategy into their work with high-net-worth family business owners and know just what to do. If you are wondering how to start, here is a primer.

Regardless of wealth or circumstance, clients will experience loss, business transition, health issues, family crises and other critical junctures. These events are not financial in nature-at least they are not primarily financial. They are life events. For example, a parent might get sick and no longer be able to live alone; marriages disintegrate and new families come together; people get diagnosed with cancer; and sometimes we lose loved ones. In these situations, people will turn to those in their lives who offer empathy, understanding and solutions.

The emotions that accompany these life events run deep. When trouble is brewing, emotions get in the way and we can make a mess of things with bad decisions and dull judgement. As a result, clients in these situations need you more when they are going through these changes in life.

So the mark of your progress in deepening relationships with your more discerning clients is when they invite you in- they share a confidence, reveal vulnerability, and send a cue that you are among their trusted friends and confidantes. Is there any greater honor as an advisor?

Now here's the flip side of emotion: Some investors are still feeling a powerful loss over the financial declines they experienced in 2008 and 2009. According to one study, these emotions can run as deep as losing a loved one. Yet, investors are likely to be mired in regrets or unable to move past them, thus leaving many simply paralyzed.

Some would respond by suggesting a logical series of actions-such as moving to a more conservative investment portfolio or a passive one. But when these actions fall on deaf ears, what's an advisor to do? As accustomed as advisors are to taking or recommending action, sometimes a different approach is needed.

Recognize that logic may not be the operative force in these cases. Consider how we would respond to a friend or family member weathering the life events of family loss or health crisis: we listen, write a hand-written note, and we check back with them and ask how things are going. When friends process their grief, we let them talk and in time, they come around. We don't rush them and try to hasten their decisions before they are ready. In short, we meet their emotions with empathy and care.

Your ability to build client relationships is an essential skill. Who else can reassure them about the future and educate them about next steps? The role can be highly rewarding and unscripted as well. Keep in mind, people grieve in their own way and in their own time. It is essential to keep the dialogue going, even if only through email or occasional mailings.

Words alone may not win over investors on the fence between leaving and staying. Nor will clients be won or lost based on relationships alone. In fact, clients will be won or lost over discomfort with investment approach and market turmoil. Consider, however, that stored equity is accrued when you walk alongside your client through difficult circumstances. When your competence as an advisor is met with the comfort of a caring friend, trust is solidified.

Gerri Leder is an industry marketing consultant and can be reached at this address.